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Visfit

Thursday, June 23, 2005

6:13PM

gbopthahoff: u have some rad history behind u missy

Current mood: contemplative

(2 Expressions | Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead. )

Saturday, June 4, 2005

11:59AM - Good Times Gone<----that sounds like a cool song name

MysticTemptress: Times like these when iwish people owed me money.
SpikeyNutGerg: lol
MysticTemptress: i have virtually no gas money. lol
SpikeyNutGerg: That sucks
MysticTemptress: it sucks having a car sometimes
SpikeyNutGerg: You're first paycheck needs to come with the quickness
SpikeyNutGerg: I bet
SpikeyNutGerg: But I need one
SpikeyNutGerg: And now
MysticTemptress: no one ever had to worry about filling up their CAT bus
SpikeyNutGerg: LMAO!!!

I got that from my oooooold journal fiery_vixen. :D Makes me smile huge.
I almost forgot about that journal. I was reading through it and it is amazing how much I have changed yet stayed the same. Same person, different circumstances...but just a lot more grown up. I laugh at how I used to be and smile at the same time. Why didn't anyone kick some sense into me? Well... maybe you all did, but I just wasn't ready to change.
[Napoleon Dynamite voice] GOSH! IDIOT!

Current mood: nostalgic

(Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead. )

Friday, April 1, 2005

8:12PM

ConfusedSomehow: I think I'm pregnant.
xSTARSnPIPEZx: WHAT!!
ConfusedSomehow: Yeah I missed my period.
ConfusedSomehow: :-\
ConfusedSomehow: for 2 months
xSTARSnPIPEZx: Omfg,,,,
xSTARSnPIPEZx: Please dont make me have a heartattak i got in a car wreck isnt that enough lol
ConfusedSomehow: April FOOLS!
xSTARSnPIPEZx: BITCH!
xSTARSnPIPEZx: ASS!
xSTARSnPIPEZx: MUTHER FUCKER!
xSTARSnPIPEZx: ILL STEP ON YOU FOR THAT!
ConfusedSomehow: :-)
xSTARSnPIPEZx: V, your a sick twisted evil bitch.....you rock haha

(Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead. )

Monday, March 28, 2005

6:04PM

Oh my God.
Marilyn - my mother in law - told me that one of our local news reporters died today. Polly Gonzalez. I used to make fun of her hair.
It makes me want to cry - because you never know when you or someone you care for is going to die.

The number one thing everyone does on a daily basis is take someone they love for granted.

Current mood: sad

(3 Expressions | Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead. )

5:57PM - Guys: If this doesn't make your nuts itch, I don't know what would.

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Current mood: amused

(Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead. )

10:43AM

Just a shout out to all the assholes from my distant past who still read my journal.
Image hosted by Photobucket.com

P.S. - Sean, the gap of time between your first comment and second comment is great. You actually came back 18 minutes later (wow, 18 is my lucky number, too. Odd.) just to post the nutrition facts. Thank you.

Saturday, March 26, 2005

8:55PM

Sorry for all the lyrics. But they served a very important purpose. So you can all go fuck yourselves if you're pissed about all the space it took up on your journal.

Haha.

Current mood: cocky

(Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead. )

8:47PM

I love you (repeat)

I only just met you before,
but I can't understand
you don't want me more.

You may-be think I'm
too smart and weird,
but that should only
make you want to hear that,

I love you (repeat)

You make me feel really
unsure,
but that should only make
you feel secure.
Although we've only known
eachother a bit already,
I can't sleep at night and I feel
like shit. That's right.

Ahhh, that's right...

I love you...
I love you...
I love you...

(Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead. )

8:29PM

For a second of your life
Tell me that it's true
Waiting for a sign
It's all I want of you
Your heart hides a secret
A promise of what is
Of something more than this

Just a second of your time
Any one will do
A taste of any other
Is all I want from you
Offer me the world
And how can I resist
Something more than this?

Make-believe in magic
Make-believe in dreams
Make-believe -- Impossible
Nothing as it seems
See, touch, taste, smell, hear
But never know if it's real (But never know if it's real)

For a second of your life
Tell me if it's true
Anywhere we are
Is all I want of you
On your lips lies a secret
A promise of a kiss
Of something more than this

Just a second of your time
Any one will do
To know from any other
Is all I want from you
You've given me the world
You know I can't resist
Something more than this

Make-believe in magic
Make-believe in dreams
Make-believe -- Impossible
Nothing as it seems
Never really understand
What anything means (What anything means)

Another second of my life
Not knowing if it's true
Make-believe in nothing
Is all I want of you
Whispering the secret
Whispering there is
Always something other
Something more than this

(Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead. )

8:14PM

You may not see the end of it
But luckily she comes around
It isn't what she talks about
It's just the way she is

(..and she says)
Ooh darlin' don't you know
The darkness comes and the darkness goes
(...and she says)
Ooh babe why don't you let her go?
Happiness ain't never how you think it should be so

I mystified the simple life
I covered up with consciousness
I saw myself and broke it down
'Til nothing more was left
She saw the symptoms right away
And spoke to me in poetry
"Sometimes the more you wonder why
The worse it seems to get"

(...and she says)
Ooh darlin don't you know
The darkness comes and the darkness goes
(...and she says)
Ooh babe why don't you let her go?
Happiness ain't never how you think it should be so
But she runs away
She runs away....

And then you know there comes a time
You need her more than anything
You may believe yours are the wounds
That only she can heal
Then everything will turn around
And she becomes so serious
What she chose to offer you
Was all that you could have

(...and she says)
Ooh darlin don't you know
The darkness comes and the darkness goes
(...and she says)
Ooh babe why don't you let her go?
Happiness ain't never how you think it should be so
But she runs away
She runs away...
She runs away...
She runs away...

(2 Expressions | Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead. )

5:05PM

UGH. Eric got his check in the mail today. Usually I'd be ECSTATIC about us getting getting a paycheck, but I'm pissed off because on his last pay day his money was deposited into a Domino's money card type thingie. And that was awesome because it's like an ATM card. NOW I have to wait until fucking Monday before we have any money because the banks are closed on the weekend and I'm not taking it to a check cashing place, where they ass rape you with their percentages and fees.
There went my plans to buy some stuff at Wal-Mart. Wait...maybe there is money in the skull cup in our bedroom...
WOO HOO! $111.00 in cash. I love being financially stable. Ok, now I'm happy again.

Robert Smith has THE sexiest voice in the world. Mmmm, I love his whiny English accent.
Richard Ashcroft from The Verve has the second sexiest singing voice in the world - also English.
Then there's Brandon Boyd.... Mmmmmmm.

I'm going to try to remember to post all of the weird synchronicities that occur in my life on a daily basis. As I've said before, my life is Magical, and weird things happen everyday. At first I thought they were coincidence, but then after so long, you start to wonder about things...
For instance, at work today, I stared at my water bottle, and it read "By CG Roxane" on the label. Not even one minute later, I get a phone call...
"Thanks for calling DirecTV. My name is Vanessa, may I have your account number please?"
Blah blah blah.
"May I have the password on the account?"
Customer says, "Is it Roxanne?"
If this were the first time something like this had happened, I would have shit my panties, but seeing as how things like this have been happening for over a year - about the time when I met Eric and a whole shit load of wonderful things started happening - I laughed inside my head and wondered what these synchronicities could all mean. Random stuff happens like this at least twice a day. I wish you all could be with me all day and experience how strange these occurences truly are.
Are they signs? Omens?
It's the same thing with the street lights... When I drive past them, they turn off. Greg, Angelina, Val, Eric, and everyone one else who has driven with me knows that these aren't random things. Let me get in your car, and watch as random street lights go off when I'm near them. It's entertaining.
In addition to this, my psychic-ness has been pretty high lately. This morning, a car moved into the middle lane for me. I was getting into the right lane so I could turn onto the freeway entrance. You could tell the person in the other car went out of his or her way to be able to let me get into the lane. For some reason I thought, "This person thinks I'm turning right at this light, so they moved over for me..." But I was actually making a right turn 2 lights up. Then I thought, "They're going to realize that I'm not turning right here, and move into my lane again behind me when the light turns green. They need to get onto the freeway." And guess what they did? I don't think like I type in my head, I just get impressions like that and I just KNOW. It's WEIRD.

I love feeling witchy.

Current mood: happy

(2 Expressions | Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead. )

Friday, March 25, 2005

9:04PM

I would like to be able to post whatever the heck I want in my journal without a fear of being rejected or criticized by other people.
(I have not received any rejections or criticisms. I'm afraid that's what would happen if I posted certain things.)
For instance...
I can't post that I enjoy smoking pot without sounding like a pothead.
I can't post that I love fucking without sounding like a sexpot.
I can't post that I hate certain people without being hated.
I can't post that people are whiners without sounding like a whiner.

...

(7 Expressions | Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead. )

7:42PM

I love how jelly beans taste like Easter.

(Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead. )

7:33PM - the upstairs room

I love it all. These games we play. I close my eyes, You run away... I'm sure I asked you to stay, but now you're gone. And so I feel the grey pulse in my head. I turn off the lights and crawl into bed. I try to think of sunshine, but my body goes wet with the first crash of thunder.
I don't think I can know anyone but you, that's for sure. When it gets to four it's my turn to go. Oh the kiss, so alcoholic and slow. Arranging me for Saturday, I thought you would know that I always sleep alone. I don't think I can love anyone but you, dear, that's for sure. The upstairs room is cool and bright. We can go up there in summer and dance all night.
Your sister started talking at a minute after ten, so everyone jumped up and then fell over again. In April you can join them and stare at me... At the ghost from your past.
I don't think I can love anyone but you, dear, that's for sure. That's for sure.

Current mood: cheerful

(Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead. )

7:22PM

I be hungry as hell.
I just went to Wal-Mart. I stood in line for 15 minutes. FIFTEEN MINUTES. I hate Wal-Fart.
I had kitty litter odor powder as one of the items on my shopping list... And I was in the soda section and guess what someone decided to set onto one of the shelves? Tidy Cats Litter Box Deodorizer. My life is Magical. I love my life.
I feel ugly today. Haha... "Hi, my name is Vanessa. I love my life. I feel ugly today." I feel like trailer trash when I'm too lazy to do anything other to my hair than brush it in the morning, and when I don't put on elaborate make-up. I feel ugly without eyeliner and ugly with my hair straight. I always remember that men are visually stimulated, and even though it's comforting to hear Eric tell me how pretty I am without my hair and make-up done, I still think he would prefer it better if I looked my best everyday. Maybe I should try looking my best for me everyday. Eh. But then I'd just tell myself what I tell myself pretty much everyday: Life is not a beauty pageant. But wouldn't it be great if it were? Goddamn, it would be nice to see everyone walking around looking their most beautiful.

Hmmm... I really don't know what else to type. I would write about my recent dreams, but I can't remember.

Current mood: happy

(Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead. )

Thursday, March 24, 2005

5:20PM - Don't spill the drink on the drink, Angelina!!

Yesterday rocked. Hung out with Angelina, it was her b-day. Eric and I brought over $30 worth of al-kee-hol and Eric got shit faced drunk, and Angelina was probably seriously buzzing, but she could have been more drunk. Haha. I would have been too if I didn't have to work the next day...
Angelina was buzzing sooo bad that she was rambling on and she actually said, and I quote, "You can tell when I'm really drunk because I don't care if you spill a drink on the drink."
It was classic, and will remain so until the end of time. Or until we all die and no one can tell the story of how Angelina is a Dyselxic Drunk.

Eric was hot hot hot. I love it when he's drunk. He acts like a goofy a-hole and I love him so much. He was standing on Angelina's porch and pressing his face against the screen so that his face became distorted, wobbling around saying, "Man, I'm drunk," looking totally mind blowingly-gorgeous in his "CRACK IS WHACK" t-shirt. He waved to a total stranger and yelled "HIII!" - Eric never talks to strangers, let alone say hi to them. We went to the Las Vegas Outlet (formerly the Belz) to pick up his friend Tim from work (I drove). Eric was twirling around all over the place with an unlit cigarette hanging from his lips like a piece of candy. He'd spit it out onto the counter and then start juggling it from hand to hand, oh man was it great. I wish I had my camera and 8mm with me. He's like a little boy when he's drunk, and we all know how Vanessa loves little boys!!

Yesterday Eric and I were driving around Summerlin and he said, "Oh, you missed it. There were shaggy haired boys walking on the sidewalk."
I said, "Oh, well..."
He said, "Do you want me to turn around so you can look at them?" And he was serious. Coolest husband ever.
Forget what I posted about not being binded to anyone, go out, and find someone to be binded to for the rest of your life, just make sure it's the right person... Someone who's secure enough in their manhood (or womanhood) to actually offer turning around the car so you can look at someone else who's hot. Because when Eric said that I lost all desire to want to know what those boys looked like, because in that moment Eric was the most gorgeous person in the world to me (and, naturally, IS).

*everyone vomits*

Work sucked, only because I learned that there is currently no overtime available which means BYE BYE to my dream of buying Eric the coolest birthday present ever. Looks like I'll have to start working my corner...

Current mood: crazy

(5 Expressions | Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead. )

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

8:20PM

ConfusedSomehow: You look like you're on drugs.
ConfusedSomehow: You look like you're a tweaker.
ConfusedSomehow: To be perfectly honest.
Ryoko H Masaki: from when u saw me?
ConfusedSomehow: Yes.
Ryoko H Masaki: hahahaha!
Ryoko H Masaki: why?
ConfusedSomehow: Because your skin is really pasty and thin looking, your hair is nasty shaggy (not good shaggy) and your nails are David Bowie minus the glam.
Ryoko H Masaki: good.. i'm achieving the right look then

Current mood: amused

(Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead. )

7:36PM

Me and the Mr. are going to see The Ring 2 later on. Just waiting for Eric to get home from work. Another hour or so. UGH. I hate waiting.

I want to have sex. Right now. Mmmmmmm. Grrrreeeeat sex. Eric is such a rockstar in bed.

Oh, how I love to amuse the girls who think he's hot, and gross out the people who don't want to know. Such fun.

Current mood: horny

(Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead. )

6:26PM

It's raining outside. It's so perfect.
Don't you love how life can go from perfect to shitty and then back to perfect again?

I love my Eric.

*everyone vomits*

Current mood: happy

(4 Expressions | Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead. )

Monday, March 21, 2005

11:23AM

Ugh. My night was really shitty.
I get really pissed off when Eric leaves the house after I've fallen asleep. I always end up waking up, for one or both of the following reasons: 1. Bebe scratches at the bedroom door, 2. I somehow know in my mind, even while I'm sleeping, that Eric has left the house. It's really disappointing and scary to wake up in the middle of the night and look over and see that you're husband is missing. I fall asleep content knowing that Eric is in the house, safe from the maniacs on the road and just in the world in general. But then I have to wake up and discover that he's not in bed, or downstairs. Not only does it piss me the fuck off, it worries me and it makes me really suspicious. I know Eric would never cheat on me, or at least I would hope he wouldn't, so that's only a small small small part of any suspicion. The other suspicion is that he's out with his friends doing things that would make me angry (I won't mention them here). I mean, he has all day when I am at work, and before he leaves to go to work, to hang out with whomever he pleases on HIS TIME. Is it wrong for me to want him to stay at home after I've fallen asleep if it affects my sleep? I don't think I'm being selfish. I think I'm a pretty cool wife, in general, and sure sometimes we have our ups and downs, and lately more than usual because I'm on my period and this is not an excuse: HORMONES MAKE ME CRAZY. A few people can back me up on this one. I'm not Normal V when I'm PMS-ing or menstruating.
But anyway.
What do you think?

(12 Expressions | Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead. )

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